“Welcome to the Jerry Jackal Show! I’m your host, Jerry the Jackal!” exclaimed Jerry the Jackal. The animal audience shouts and hollers in excitement. “Today we have Concordia the Cat, who seems to be having problems with her former friend. What’s going on, Concordia?”
“Hi Jerry,” said Concordia. “I had this friend growing up, Doug the Dog. We were inseparable; we had all the same hobbies, we worked some jobs together, and we even shared an apartment for a time. About a year ago, Doug found some new friends. Then two months ago, he tells me he can’t stand me anymore, he’s done with me, and that I have to move all my stuff out so his friends can move in!”
The audience erupts in shock and anger. The monkeys begin screeching, the snakes start to hiss, and the lions roar in disbelief. They cannot believe Doug would treat Concordia like this.
“Wow, that’s unbelievable!” said Jerry. “What did Doug have to say when you confronted him on this?”
“That’s the thing, Jerry,” exclaimed Concordia. “Ever since he told me off, he’s blocked my number, is hardly ever around when I come by the apartment, and is completely avoiding me. I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on!”
“Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out,” said Jerry. “We have Doug backstage, here to set the record straight. Come on out!”
Doug walks to the stage, as the audience growls and shouts in rage. Concordia jumps from her seat, clawing and scratching at Doug. Doug reciprocates by snapping and swiping at Concordia. The bear security guards quickly pull them apart and set them in their seats.
“Doug, you’ve heard what Concordia has to say,” said Jerry. “What’s your side of the story?”
“I cannot live with her anymore, Jerry! Her anger is terrible, she’s constantly rude to me, and she’s even locked me out before. I just got lucky that night and found a wolf that let me stay at his place,” explained Doug. “I’ve had a monkey throw coconuts at me, and I’ve seen a herd of sheep get eaten while trying to find different places to stay. And none of this would have happened if it wasn’t for her insanity!”
The audience explodes in exhilaration. Dolphins commence whistling, bees begin buzzing, and the owls start hooting like crazy.
“So where do you go from here?” asked Jerry.
“She just needs to understand that I’m moving on with my life,” said Doug. “A couple weeks ago, I found this man’s house while I was wandering, really cold and hungry. He brought me in, fed me, and let me stay the night. I even helped him scare off some robbers that came into his house. He’s really great, and he only lives a few miles away from the old place; his name’s Adam.”
“Adam?! You’re living with my freaking cousin?!” screams Concordia.
Concordia once again leaps from her seat, while Doug jumps up from his, and they begin fighting on the stage floor as they kick, bite, bark, and yowl at one another. The audience is loving the action, half of them cheering on Concordia while the other half roots for Doug.
Jerry steps in front of the ruckus to look straight into the camera. “Looks like this fight won’t be resolved any time soon! We’ll be back with more of the Jerry Jackal Show right after these messages.”
Etching of Cat and Dog Fighting, via the
UntextbookSource:
Jewish Fairy Tales and Legends by Gertrude Landa (1919)
Author’s NotesI modernized the story by changing the setting to a tabloid talk show for animals. Instead of hearing the story from a third-person point of view, I wrote the story to where you hear more from the two main characters, the cat and the dog, personally. The story is also retold by the cat and the dog themselves, reflecting back on what happened in the past, which then reignites bad blood that lives on into the present. By setting the story in a tabloid talk show, I was able to intensify the emotions of the cat and the dog, showing just how much they really hate each other. I also added a little bit of irony with the cat itself. Concordia, the cat’s name, is the Roman goddess of peace and harmony. However, the whole story focuses on the lack of peace and harmony between the characters.